Lost – Writing 101 Assignment 4

Part 1 of 3 of Serially Lost for Writing 101


There are so many things that I have “serially” lost, that I don’t know what to write about or where to begin. After some thought, I decided to write about “losing my mind.”

When my husband and I divorced, the divorce itself and the custody battles that ensued was more than I could handle, emotionally. The severe depression I was in plus the stress on top of that, finally caused me to have a nervous breakdown, and I cannot even begin to tell you how horrible that is.

My mind began racing and I could not get it to stop. I completely ceased sleeping as my thoughts would not allow me to sleep. I became extremely paranoid and I was literally living in crippling terror. I would stay up all night pacing, trying desperately to sort through all the horrible thoughts haunting my mind. I felt like my mind was trying to solve a puzzle but I didn’t have all the puzzle pieces I needed in order to solve it, literally making me mentally and emotionally crippled.

The first time I went to the hospital they gave me a shot to help me sleep, although, against my wishes. I slept for quite a while and I was much better when I woke up but I wasn’t healed from what was causing me not to be able to sleep. To begin with, I didn’t feel like I had control over my own mind. My thoughts were racing and I felt I could not stop it from racing. My sense of smell was much more acute. When I was in the hospital I could smell the mingling smells of all the food from the cafeteria and it was nauseating

Some things that helped me during these terrible times were my journaling and walking. In order to gain some semblance of sanity, I was either writing or walking. These activities were soothing to me and helped me make it through yet, another day.


To be continued…

 

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Blog for Mental Health

Blog for Mental Health asks each person who has had an experience with mental illness, either with themselves or through a loved one, to write a blog post about it. The objective is to pull mental illness out of the closet and change the stigma attached to it so more people who need help, will reach out and receive help. For more information regarding this challenge, please go to their website:

blogformentalhealth.com


My experience with mental illness began shortly after my first child was born. I was left in hard (difficult and painful) labor for 2 1/2 days before they decided to take him with forcepts. In those days, Cesarian births were very rare and even rarer in a little bitty farming community of about 900 people. I began having panic attacks after this experience.


When my husband and I were going through a divorce and custody battle, I began to sink into a depression which continued getting worse. I describe the experience as “hitting the bottom and the bottom falling out.” It was a horrible experience that worsened as the grip of mental illness swallowed me into it’s gut of paranoia, severe depression and high anxiety.


For a long time, I couldn’t sleep at night. Often, I would stay up all night and pace, trying to get away from the horrible fears that had gripped me. I would write in my journal excessively and go on long walks in my neighborhood. I would have frightening hallucinations. I tried my best to look “right and normal” on the outside when on the inside my illness was eating me alive. My family members were ashamed of me and this caused me to try and look normal to them and other people.


After years of therapy and trying different medications, I was finally helped when anti-depressants were introduced to me. Apparently, I had a severe chemical imbalance and the correct medicine was able to correct this imbalance. Finally, I was able to feel and experience joy again, and to think as a normal person again. This was a huge breakthrough for me. There is hope. With the medications, knowledge, and therapy available now, there is hope and help for those who are experiencing mental illness. Mental Illness does include simple depression because simple depression can grow into severe depression if left unchecked. Please, don’t be ashamed to ask for help or ashamed to help your loved one find help.

“I pledge my commitment to the Blog of Mental Health 2015 Project. I will blog about mental health topics, not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.”

I would like to give a “shout out” to my friend Cat, author of, “My Travels with Depression,” for introducing me to this site. (Please click on the gravatar below to read his excellent “Blogging for Mental Health” post).


My Travels with Depression

 



 



 

Nurturing Thursday

Every Thursday, Becca Givens, author of the fabulous blog, On Dragonfly Wings with Buttercup Tea, hosts Nurturing Thursday. Nurturing Thursday is a way for each of us to nurture ourselves and each other while in this hectic and sometimes chaotic life we live.

If you are interested in joining Nurturing Thursday, please read her post:

https://beccagivens.wordpress.com/2015/01/08/nurturing-thurs-messengers/

 

This is my Nurturing Thursday contribution. I chose this because lately, I have had to set boundaries in order to “nurture myself.”

Pinterest Image

I wanted to add this cartoon just for laughs

(because laughing is always the best medicine).

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Step Right Up….

Each Saturday I am introducing a few WordPress bloggers that I enjoy following, viewing and/or reading their posts. Some of these bloggers are not new to WordPress, while others are new or are fairly new to this WordPress blogosphere. If you are not already familiar with these blogs, please check them out:

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Colleen, the Chatter Master, is the author of the “Chatterblog.” Her blog is about, well, a little of everything — whatever is on her mind or in her heart. Please check out this recent post: The Things that Matter Always Do

https://bikecolleenbrown.wordpress.com/2014/12/22/the-things-that-matter-always-do-2/

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Cat, is the author of the blog, “My Travels with Depression.” Cat struggles with depression, PTSD and related Agoraphobia and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and brings us into his inner thoughts regarding his weekly group therapy sessions. His generous honesty helps others understand these, often, debilitating illnesses. Check out Cat’s recent post: “Therapy – The Christmas Break.”

http://mytravelswithdepression.wordpress.com/2014/12/22/therapy-the-christmas-break/

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Amanda (Mandi) is the author of the blog, “Mandibelle16”. She describes her blog as “thoughts, expressions, and articles.” She is an aspiring writer and photographer. Check out her post, “Christmas Cheer.”

http://mandibelle16.wordpress.com/2014/12/25/christmas-cheer/

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Caroline, is the author of the blog, “Beautiful Life with Cancer.” Caroline shares her daily life with her family among other things that come to her heart and mind. Please check out her heartwarming poem, “Staring at my Family.”

http://beautifullifewithcancer.com/2014/12/21/staring-at-my-family/

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Elizabeth authors the blog, “Tea and Paper.” She shares her world with words and gorgeous photographs. Please check out her post, “Here’s What’s on Top of my Christmas Tree What’s on Yours?”

http://teaandpaper.com/2014/12/22/heres-whats-on-top-of-my-christmas-tree-whats-on-yours/

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Dreamer Girl whose “dreams are bright as city lights”, authors the blog, “Dreamer Girl.” She aspires to be a writer of poetry and short stories. Check out her poem, “The Invisible Sea.”

https://dreamsbrightascitylights.wordpress.com/2014/12/21/the-invisible-sea/

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A fairly new blog in our WordPress Blogging world is the blog, “In Pursuit of Rainbow.” Check out her post, “The Chaos Theory”:

http://ourjourneyoflifetogether.wordpress.com/2014/12/23/the-chaos-theory/

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Kaygy is an aspiring (and humble) writer and poet. She is the author of the blog, “Randoms by a Random.” Check out her lovely poem, “Here’s to Friendship.”

http://randomsbyarandom.wordpress.com/2014/12/22/heres-to-friendship/

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If you enjoy photography blogs, take a peek at, “Gray Days and Coffee.” Her post features beautiful photos. Check out her photography post: “Raindrops on Pinecones and Fences and Bushes…”

https://graydaysandcoffee.wordpress.com/2014/12/22/raindops-on-pinecones-and-fences-and-bushes/

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Do you like trees? So does Carrie, (the tree hugger), author of the blog, “The Shady Tree.” Check out her post of her favorite trees for 2014:

http://theshadytree.wordpress.com/2014/12/24/favorite-trees-of-2014/

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And last, but not least, is Ady, author of the blog, roundWorldnMe. Check out her post, “Dreams of an Amateur.”

http://roundworldnme.wordpress.com/2014/12/26/dreams-of-an-amatuer/

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Normally, I will introduce five blogs that I enjoy reading, viewing, and following each Saturday. I doubled up this week because of the holidays.

“Some” of the blogs I introduced are new or fairly new bloggers and I hope you will help to support and encourage them as their blogs evolve in this blogosphere family of WordPress. I certainly am grateful for each of you that read, comment and follow my blog.

Happy New Year: 2015! I wish each and everyone of you the most wonderful year ahead.


You Can Make It Anywhere

If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere,” goes the famous song about New York City. Is there a place — a city, a school, a company — about which you think (or thought) the same? Tell us why, and if you ever tried to prove that claim. ~ Daily Post


There was a time in my life when I became swallowed by severe depression. Each day I remember thinking, if I can get through this hour, maybe I can get through the next hour, and maybe, I can get through this day.

There were days when I felt I had taken one step forward and two steps back. There were days I didn't think I could make it through the hour much less the entire day.

The suffering experienced by severe depression is immeasurable. The pain is just as real and painful as physical pain, maybe even worse.

In my opinion, this is the reason there is so much suicide in our world today. From my own experience, I believe it is because of this pain. The very act is the desperation to escape it.

Did I think of suicide? Sadly, yes. I too wanted to escape the pain that had seized me in it's consuming and hideous grasp. Pain that wouldn't allow me peace. Pain that seemingly wanted only to destroy me.

With perseverance, I finally made it through it. I had finally climbed that difficult mountain. I climbed it one minute at a time, one hour at a time, and one day at a time.

Anyone who can climb this mountain and make it to the top, can make it anywhere.

Today, I may not be perfect, but I am 90% better than I was.

If you have severe depression, or even, depression, please, don't give up. Don't ever give up.

 

New Blog Title!

For those of you who read and/or follow my blog will notice that today I have changed my blog title from “Bleeding my Emotions” to “Inspiring my Emotions.”

Having the title of “Bleeding my Emotions” made me feel I needed to keep my blog to more depressive type posts. In reality, I really want to try and stay away from bleeding heart posts. Although I still want to post more about my struggle OUT of mental illness in my future posts, I do want to keep it on a more positive light.

It is my hope that my new blog “direction” will enlighten, entertain, amuse, as well as, be endearing to you in the future. After all, you are the one who I write to in the first place. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Picture Credit to Pinterest

Zero to Hero: Who Am I? (Good Question)

Good question! I am not even sure myself! Through blogging and writing I hope to be able to finally anwer that question, but I certainly will need all the help I can get.

I am taking part of the Zero to Hero Challenge with WordPress Daily Post. The Daily Post Zero to Hero: 30 Days to a Better Blog.

Our first assignment is to tell our readers Who We Are. Therefore, I am going to try and tell you who I am and what my blog is about.

My internet name of Priceless Joy came after many years of mental anquish and hell. Evolution from that excruciating time in my life to finally being able to experience joy, was priceless. Therefore, my internet name, Priceless Joy.

I am still evolving as far as my self esteem and confidence and still have a long way to go. Hopefully, this challenge with WordPress will help me grow and evolve into that type of writer that readers want to rush to and read and devour.

I hope to be a light to those who are experiencing darkness – the kind which I experienced many years ago.

I hope to be an inspiration to those who need inspiration and encouragement in their life journey.

I hope to be a friend to those who need friendship and a blessing to those who need a blessing.

I hope to write about my experiences and bear my soul to my readers.

I hope to flourish in my writing abilities and be brave enough to “undress” (so to speak) my writing regarding my life and my experiences.

I hope to be able to write posts that are entertaining and funny, but also have meaning.

I hope to get to a point where I can encourage others to “let their light shine” too.

Once again, I hope to gain self esteem and rid myself of all my insecurities and inhibitions. (When I think about my writing being open to anyone in the world to read, I freeze! (Yes, I freeze solid!) So, hopefully, this challenge will help me warm up to this terrifying thought.

At this moment in time I feel like a deer in the headlights. Thus, I leave all of you very lovely people with one word… H E L P!!

 

ZerotoHerobloggingchallenge