Varied Points of View

Writing 101 – Assignment #9 – Points of View

The sun was full-on in the noon position and the park was in pristine condition. The grass was manicured, the roses were in full bloom and there were so many trees you could hardly see the sun. That’s where I sat, right in the middle of the park.

———————-

I’m worried. I know I have to tell Michael about our precarious position and I’m afraid he is going to be upset, I took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, “Well, I guess it is now or never.”

I take a deep breath, “Honey, you told me you wanted me to always be honest with you.. and, well”.. I stammered, “I am pregnant.The words just shot right out of my mouth so fast I wasn’t sure if Michael was quick enough to catch them. Words that are just floating around in the air like fire flys, waiting for someone to catch them, put them in a jar to light the paths of those on their journey.

———————–

I’m afraid that Marilyn wanted to go on this walk to tell me she is leaving me. She seems to be so sad anymore and I don’t think she is happy. I have to stop for a minute and catch my breath. Just thinking about not having her in my life devastates me. Then, by golly, she turns and looks right into my eyes and tells me she is pregnant. I am so happy I want to scream. I pick her up and twirl her around, then I realize it might hurt the baby and put her back down.”

———————–

“You mean you aren’t upset with me Michael?”

“Absolutely not! We’ve been trying to get pregnant for five years now. I’m..I’m elated!”

“I know we have been trying, but financially we are behind in some bills and I thought you would be upset.”

“Darlin, it is the perfect time for us to have a baby!” Just as soon as I said those words I reached for her and gave her a warm loving hug, and I started bawling.

————————

I was sitting on the park bench watching a young couple, Michael and Marilyn. Michael was crying and Marilyn looked so happy. I haven’t seen her happy in awhile. I have been this couple’s guardian since the moment they got married. They don’t know anything about me, it’s just between me and the big guy. I point to the sky. My boss told me that today I would learn why I am sitting in the middle of this park, knitting.

Aahaa! So, that’s why I am knitting this sweater, she is pregnant. This is wonderful news as they have been trying for a long time. Then, from the corner of my eye I see Julian sitting on top of one the trees.

Hey Clarissa! How long do I gotta stay up here? I wanta go play with my friends.” Julian yelled over to me.

Julian, look at those two people. That’s your mamma and daddy and I’m happy to announce that you are scheduled to come to this earth in about 6 1/2 months.

“Hey, that’s cool!” He replied before he ran off to play with his friends,

Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. Julian is going to be my client too. I grab my coffee, stick the red yarn and half finished sweater into my bag and walk in the direction of my little hide-a-way, feeling more like an angel than I ever did before.

Suddenly, one more memory comes to my mind. Julian’s favorite color is red. The End.


Assignment 9

Today’s Prompt: A man and a woman walk through the park together, holding hands. They pass an old woman sitting on a bench. The old woman is knitting a small, red sweater. The man begins to cry. Write this scene.

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52 thoughts on “Varied Points of View

  1. That was just about the best thing I have read on wordpress! I LOVE stories like this! PJ, you have thrown down a gauntlet for Writing 101 that no one can match (may have mixed the metaphor there). Anyway, just a wonderful and happy story. I got my work cut out for me now.

  2. where is the “LOVE” button???? You made my jaw drop and it stayed dropped.
    Darn it, as I write this my mouth is still open.
    That was Most Incredible!!!!

  3. I like stories with multiple points of view. This one is very sweet. By the way I love the metaphor with the fireflies. One thing I didn’t really get though: if they have been trying to have a baby for a while, why does she think he would be upset to hear that she is pregnant?
    Is the old lady some sort of an angel? I like the idea that some random people we see (in a park for example) might actually be angels πŸ™‚

    • Thank you Jodi. After I finished it though I realized the POV they are referring to is the writer’s POV (first person, second person….). LOL! So I think I killed it but not in a good way. πŸ˜€

    • Thank you Mandi! That is so sweet of you to say! I had to work to make sure I had the POV’s consistent throughout the story for each person. I should have introduced several other POV’s. Oh well, maybe next time. (I actually didn’t think of it until it was already published). Thank you again for your positive feedback!

    • Gosh Cat, that is so kind of you! Thank you so much! I’m not sure that I really followed the directions, oh well. It really makes my day to have you say this about my writing! Thank you!

    • Thank you JR! I wanted the old woman to be an angel in the story and decided to make the angel as the spirit of the baby when it’s born. I appreciate your kind comment! Thank you so much!!

  4. Oh my goodness!! That old woman’s perspective was the best πŸ˜€ I was NOT expecting that.. Wow.. Just amazing work! So much hope and joy in one post ❀

  5. A really awesome story , Joy! Very interesting and I love the happy ending. Your doing a super job with these assignments! I’m looking to reading your next one.😊

  6. I loved it, PJ! It was a joyful description of a new beginning. I find the idea of guardian angels very creative and original. We seldom include the perspectives of higher beings and deities in our writing.

    You mentioned that you may not have conformed to the twist of writing in different perspectives. I’m not so sure what Blogging U meant by that too and I think I failed to conform to it as well. Could you please explain them to me?

  7. Awww, this is a beautiful story and i couldn’t have asked for a better ending. U agree, Jullian’s guardian angel is.certainly going to get hia hand full when she arrives.

  8. You said you got it wrong, but I don’t think so. You’ve three different narrators here: Marilyn, Michael and the guardian angel. Each of them gets to tell the story from their point of view, so I’d say you’re post on with this.

    I enjoyed your twist of making the old woman a guardian angel. A nice twist to all the other pregnancy stories I’ve seen πŸ™‚

    • Thank you Sonya! I was referring to these POV’s:
      first person, second person, and third person omniscient.
      I appreciate your positive feedback. Thank you so much! πŸ™‚

        • Thank you so much! According to the directions from WP, I think we all did it right but I also think they should have been more specific about the POV’s because the different POV’s is important for writers to know.

  9. That is a tricky prompt! You did an awesome job. Loved reading about how each person felt and what they could see in the other people around them. The guardian angel was a very creative idea of yours, knitting her little red sweater for the baby.

  10. Beautiful story! I didn’t expect the woman to be their angel and especially their little angel watching them too. This has to be one of your best stories yet! Loved it so much!

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