Part 1 of 3 of Serially Lost for Writing 101
There are so many things that I have “serially” lost, that I don’t know what to write about or where to begin. After some thought, I decided to write about “losing my mind.”
When my husband and I divorced, the divorce itself and the custody battles that ensued was more than I could handle, emotionally. The severe depression I was in plus the stress on top of that, finally caused me to have a nervous breakdown, and I cannot even begin to tell you how horrible that is.
My mind began racing and I could not get it to stop. I completely ceased sleeping as my thoughts would not allow me to sleep. I became extremely paranoid and I was literally living in crippling terror. I would stay up all night pacing, trying desperately to sort through all the horrible thoughts haunting my mind. I felt like my mind was trying to solve a puzzle but I didn’t have all the puzzle pieces I needed in order to solve it, literally making me mentally and emotionally crippled.
The first time I went to the hospital they gave me a shot to help me sleep, although, against my wishes. I slept for quite a while and I was much better when I woke up but I wasn’t healed from what was causing me not to be able to sleep. To begin with, I didn’t feel like I had control over my own mind. My thoughts were racing and I felt I could not stop it from racing. My sense of smell was much more acute. When I was in the hospital I could smell the mingling smells of all the food from the cafeteria and it was nauseating
Some things that helped me during these terrible times were my journaling and walking. In order to gain some semblance of sanity, I was either writing or walking. These activities were soothing to me and helped me make it through yet, another day.
To be continued…