Tennis, Tennis, Tennis! FFfAW 2-25-2015

Mother, all he can talk about or think about is tennis. Tennis, tennis, tennis! It certainly hasn’t made it easier living with a tennis court in our backyard.”

“Well dear, you knew he was a professional tennis player when you married him. You really don’t have room to complain.”

“But mamma, I’m suppose to the be the most important thing in his life.”

“What makes you think you aren’t?”

“I cooked a lovely Lasagne dinner tonight, his favorite. I even had candles, a bottle of wine and a chocolate turtle pecan cake I baked.

“Lovely sweetie, I am sure he loved it.”

“Mamma, he stayed at the tennis court with his coach and I have no idea when he will get home.”

Just then the door opened and Samuel came walking in with a dozen long-stemmed red roses and wrapped gift.

“Happy Anniversary darling. Did you think I would forget?” (150 words).

Image Credit: Dawn M. Miller – Thank you for lending us this photo

This is write and play time for the Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writer’s. Each week we are given a photo prompt and challenged to write a story based on the photo in 100 – 150 (+- 25) words or less. It is fun and addictive. If you would like to join our playful group, click on the link below for further information:

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75 thoughts on “Tennis, Tennis, Tennis! FFfAW 2-25-2015

  1. This is a cute story. Kind of fits around the Valentine’s Day theme in February. I liked that she didn’t expect him to show up (we all kind of do that with men) but then he did show up with roses!

  2. Smart mom – trying to remain neutral. I’m glad the main characters will have a nice anniversary dinner. At least lasagne won’t dry out 😛
    Wonderful dialogue writing, PJ. It reads as though you’re becoming much more comfortable with the craft.
    Ellespeth

  3. Lovely dose of romance and relational concerns. This issue will probably arise again, but in this moment, he showed up with gifts and (more importantly) his undivided attention (hopefully). I loved the dialogue between the MC and her mom. Just having their dialogue enriched by their personalities gave me enough room to picture these characters in my own way. Thanks for the read!

  4. This is a wonderful take on the prompt, PJ. The dinner sounded divine!!!! I really like the ending. You are such a wonderful writer. I’m working on my piece for this prompt. Words seem to come extra slow to me these days. In regards to writing stories and poems, not speaking! I have plenty of words there!! Lol thank you again for hosting this wonderful challenge!

  5. Oh what a sweet story. I loved the specificity with the turtle cake…now I want some 🙂 I think it’s very hard to write a story in all dialogue, but I thought you did a good job of establishing a relationship between the mother and daughter. I would’ve liked one dialogue tag off the first or second line so I knew who was speaking at the top. Where you added in ‘mamma’ is a good way of establishing a character and says a lot about the person because there are many ways we can reference our mother. Oh and you know what just came to mind? Is this a telephone conversation? Because at first I thought it was odd her mother would be at her house on her anniversary lol. If it is you should mention it. Overall nice job!

    • Thank you so much for pointing these things out because now I will keep them all in mind when I am writing a story. I understand what you mean about the confusion it can cause not knowing who is saying what. I did put the mother’s dialogue in italics but apparently that wasn’t enough. This dialogue story is one of my first dialogue stories (if I am remembering correctly). I appreciate this constructive feedback!

  6. Oh dear. I think many wives of avid sportsmen feel that way, and the story was very sweet. But I agree with married2arod about the dialogue. It needs tags – or some means of denoting who is speaking – to make it clearer. Your use of ‘Mamma’ is useful on that particular line. You’ve done a good job in establishing a close relationship between mother and daughter – and the last line is excellent. 🙂

  7. Very cute, although she did come off a bit whiny but I suppose all young women are like that if not properly attended to. I had no trouble differentiating who was saying what to whom, I thought your dialogue ran smoothly. I did have trouble with one paragraph and had to re-read it several times.

    “I cooked a lovely Lasagne dinner tonight, his favorite. I even have candles, a bottle of wine and a chocolate turtle pecan cake I baked.” ..maybe it was the tense, change have to had?

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