Friday Fictioneers Feb 11, 2015

This home is third generation. My great grandmother lived here with her husband, then my grandmother with hers. My mother, however, eloped with her husband and they chose to live in New York City. As soon as I graduated high school, I ran as fast as I could to live in Georgia, the most beautiful state in the union.


After five years of marriage, my husband said it reminded him of a prison and left to find greener pastures.


As I sit on the old front porch and rock, I stare at the shadows and think, “My Eden, his prison.”


Friday Fictioneers is a challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. She give us a photo prompt and challenges us to write a story of 100 words or less.

Would you like to join Friday Fictioneers? Please click on the following link:

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields – Addicted to Purple

 

 

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129 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers Feb 11, 2015

  1. I can understand why he would think it to be a prison. Sometimes, when living in suburbia, that feeling can take hold. If the houses look similar or are the same, it does seem like you are trapped.
    I like how it started off sweet and homely, then ended completely different. I enjoy stories that use both sides of the coin!

  2. Not every story can be a princess ending. I loved the last line,it’s sad at the same time shows the strength and emotional depth of the lady πŸ™‚

  3. Its funny how your heaven can be someone else’s prison, but that is life. To each his own. We all try to carve our niche in this world. The only thing we need to be careful is not to let our priorities make things difficult for someone else.

    • Dear Rochelle, Thank you for reading and commenting. It’s been fun writing these flash fictions. I know my writing doesn’t hold a candle to those of you who are actual “writers.” I appreciate your (and others) kindness toward me. I wish you the best with your books. Sincerely, PJ

  4. It doesn’t look like a prison to me. We’ll take the east wing. When can we move in?
    Oh, by the way, I like my eggs over easy so they blend well with the grits. Ham or sausage, either is fine. We’ll see you on the veranda at breakfast. No chicory in the coffee, please.

    • I have never been to Georgia but I have been to Louisiana and I imagine the humidity is about as bad. It could easily become clammy under such a situation. πŸ™‚ Sadly, yes, it happens much too often.

  5. I went to have a look but found it all a little confusing. Did that picture of the balcony get published today? Where is her 100 words for today’s picture? There seems to be another story beneath today’s prompt. Maybe its just my confused mind, but I can’t understand enough to participate

    • On Wednesday, Rochelle sends us a photo prompt and we all write a story 100 words or less based on the photo (it can be about anything, just refer to photo some way). When we publish our stories, we link it to her post through the blue frog InLinkz. Then we can click on the blue frog box and it takes us into the web page that has all of our stories. You will see all of our blog icons in squares on the page. When I click on the white part (where the title and blog name is) it takes me into that person’s story. Sometimes they type it at the very beginning and sometimes they type it (write it) right under the photo). But each story “should” have the same photo attached. Does this make sense or have I confused you more? I really love Friday Fictioneers but the majority of the writers are professional writers (authors) and I feel WAY UNQUALIFIED to participate. I am thinking about not writing for Friday Fictioneers anymore because of this. In fact, I am “mulling” around starting my own Flash Fiction for people that are learning to write better (not professionals), where we can read and help each other with our writing. But I don’t know how well this would go over with people.

      • No, you made it perfectly clear and I did purposefully go for a look and, once again, you are underestimating your own talent. Yes, some are good but so are you. I would be interesting in participating in your flash fiction. It would be nice to get some feedback from other writers. The only concern I have about feedback is that many people are too afraid to be honest and, on the other paw, there are those who might not like the honesty. But, it would be good if you could try to create that kind of platform….go for it πŸ˜‰

      • PLEASE DO NOT QUIT WRITING FOR FF! You are an amazing writer! I would definitely participate if you started your own Flash Fiction for those learning to write – because that is what I am, too!

        • Really Kirsten? You would join? I am seriously thinking about it. I want to poll people and see if they would be interested. It would be for people that are non-professional writers, and more for those of us who want to learn to write better. Hopefully some people who are wonderful writers will join and help those of us who want their help in improving. My problem is when I go visit my children and grandchildren, I would need someone to take it over for those two weeks. That is what bothers me is the commitment and whether I will be able to fully take that on.

          • Yes, I would join πŸ™‚ Who would be considered a professional writer – anyone who is published? I definitely want to learn to write better. You might be able to schedule the posts ahead of time for those two weeks. That way people who are participating can still post their responses to your prompts. I’m sure they would understand that your priority would be spending quality time with your children and grandchildren during that time πŸ™‚ You might also make it a once a month or bi-weekly challenge…

          • I know you will come up with something great. I think there are plenty of writers out there who would like to have a place to learn and grow πŸ™‚

  6. You have such a gift for packing a multi-layered story into 100 words! The last line is amazing – “My Eden, his prison.” I’m glad your character has her Eden! Beautiful as always!

  7. Your story is a reminder that we are all so different, each of us with our own ideas on what type of home constitutes an Eden or a prison. I live in a secluded place which would drive many city-people mad. It’s a shame when marriages / partnerships break up because of these differences, though. Your story illustrates that very well. I particularly like the way you end the story with a very strong image, PJ. πŸ™‚

    • Yes, it does illustrate how different people are according to their tastes. (I envy you living in a secluded place). Her husband was a bit like her own mother who didn’t want to live in the house and moved to NYC.

        • I hope it didn’t come out too harshly. It sounds like it must have and that wasn’t my intention. Actually, I didn’t realize her husband was like her mother until after I wrote and published it.

          • The similarity wasn’t a glaring point, PJ. I did pick it out, but it wasn’t an overriding factor in your story. More of a coincidental thing. Perhaps my earlier words were a bit strong! πŸ™‚

          • Thank you Millie. I am glad to know that it didn’t come across as too negative toward the mother. It was mainly to stress the point of what is wonderful to one may not be wonderful to another.

          • Thank you Millie. I really appreciate that, because I have really been struggling with feeling so inadequate as a writer. Any encouragement I get is welcome. I have started a Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers (I know you are not aspiring because you are an accomplished writer) but we need mentors on the challenge and I would love for you to be a mentor if you have the time.

          • I’d be very happy to be a mentor as long as it isn’t too time consuming. Just let me know what it would entail. I’m very flattered that you should ask! πŸ™‚

          • If you feel up to it, follow the website I just created for it (it will only have a weekly post for the challenge so you won’t be getting other emails from it). Join in (you are welcome to write a post when you want to). I am having everyone tag their posts, “Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers” so they can be found on the WordPress Reader under this tag. I’m going to look into joining InLinKz so we can all post onto that in the near future.

  8. “Wistful” is the first word that came to mind after I read this. How true this story is that so many of us allow the unimportant things in life to drive our decisions.

    • Thank you for reading Michael, and I agree, many people allow the unimportant become important and make unwise decisions. I blame it partially on inexperience and immaturity. Thank you for commenting!

  9. Another story that raises many questions…I wonder if the narrator is really happy in her Eden. Tough choices! The double-edged view of the lovely balcony/prison bars is very clever.

    I am a mere newcomer to Friday Fiction but I do hope you’re not leaving.

    Do value your comments and stories.

    (By the way have a tried writing a romance with A HAPPY ENDING!!! if you’d like to look.)
    Cheers
    MJ

  10. Maybe it’s just me, PJ but I’d switch the last two phrases :
    HIS prison; MY Eden.

    Very nice story of attachment to one’s land.

    Tay.

    P”S” Now I’ll go answer you πŸ˜‰

  11. Sad for her, but really, she has her Eden, and that’s got to be good. I’m sure she’ll find someone else to share it with her if that’s what she needs. Lovely story.

    • Yes, she decided to stay there while he decided to leave. A very short marriage for this couple. She seemed to marry someone like her mother. (I have always heard this often happens, although I didn’t mean for that to be part of the story).

  12. “Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage …” or something like that (Lovelace: To Althea …) It is true. Life is all about perception and that’s what you did with the prompt. ‘One man’s meat is another man’s poison’ also comes to mind. Your story has many layers. πŸ™‚

  13. Running in circles, finding our own corner of the world, just to find it suffocating. I like how you waved it, her mother running away, she running back and then her husband leaving. Although she calls it an Eden, I wonder if with time it might become her prison, too. I like your story very much.
    As for leaving Friday Fictioneers, because you are not a professional writer? Neither am I, but I keep writing every week. And I keep reading other people’s stories. And I welcome any kind of comment, because it makes me learn new things. It is not easy to find 30-40 people who want to read your stories every week, so regardless of you creating your own Flash Fiction corner, I would advise you to stick around. Just my two cents…

    • Thank you so much. I have considered leaving Friday Fictioneers only because it seems everyone there are such wonderful writers and I feel my writing is “groan” worthy. I don’t want to waste Rochelle’s time or the other peoples time there, and I feel like I do. I want to improve my writing and then go back and feel like my stories are worth reading. Thank you for your feedback on my story. I really do appreciate it.

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