Why is it so easy to talk about ourselves until we are suppose to talk about ourselves? That’s a funny thing isn’t it? Suddenly you have this “deer in headlights” look,
“What? You want me to talk about ME?
These lights are so bright they’re hurting my eyes and I’m sweating like a pig in a blanket. (Haha! Get it?) This stool is uncomfortable and I am tempted to start twirling in it, around and around, but I don’t think the camera men would like that. (Oh goodie! Now I think I will!)
Hmm (clearing my throat). “I am here to talk to you about me. I am going to tell you about what I learned in Writing 101 and how I have grown as a writer.”
“CUT! CUT, CUT, CUT! Cut it – the hell out and start all over again, but for gawds sake, be REAL!”
(I am starting to get the giggles because that is what I do when I get nervous and this dam.. dang, producer is making me nervous). Hahaheeheehee. Hmm (clearing my throat again).
“Okay! Stop glaring at me with those evil looking eyes look!” (By the way, bite me!).
The best thing about Writing 101 is that it motivated me to start writing again. For some reason, I had stopped writing. I quickly learned that not only did my writing suffer, but my creativity suffered as well.
My favorite writing is spontaneity writing. It is my favorite writing but also the hardest writing for me because I get brain farts when I am under pressure. This type of writing also brings out things hidden deep in my heart and soul. This is where the “real” stuff is that makes writing fun and reading it enjoyable.
One of my most favorite assignments was to open up a book and focus on one word on that page and write a letter To Whom it May Concern about this word. The first book I opened, the word that stood out was confession. After thinking about writing about that word for awhile, I decided I would cheat and open up another book and pull out another word, a word that would be more fun to write about. The second book I opened, the word was….(I am NOT kidding you!!!) …. C-O-N-F-E-S-S-I-O-N!
This freaked me out because I knew that forces of the universe were pointing at me and saying,
“You –W-I-L-L– Write About Confession!” I did write about the word confession and had a little fun writing about it, but it still gave me the chilly-willy’s.
I enjoyed “finding your voice”. Seriously. Think about it. How does one go about “finding” their voice?
“Here voice, here voice, here voicey voicey.” And you sort of expect it to jump up in your face and scratch at your eyes and say, “Here I am! Mweow Mweow. Feed me!”
I can’t say that I ever found my voice. I don’t know if I will ever be able to say that I found my voice. Maybe I shouldn’t find my voice. Maybe my voice should find me. Picture this, you’re walking down a nice winding path through a deep and mysterious forest with all types of creatures making guttural sounds deep inside that forest. The smell of pine, right after a summer rain, strong and glorious, pass affectionately into your nostrils and suddenly you trip over something. Lo and behold! There it is! YOUR VOICE!!
The assignments, A Room With a View and Happy Comfort foods challenged me to dig into my memory bank and write about pleasant memories. Those written pieces not only brought me comfort, they also gave me an outlet to share them.
Death of Adverbs was enjoyable to write because I wrote about the little hummingbird that I rescued and rehabilitated.
Although the Serially Lost series wasn’t my favorite assignments, Serially Found: Third Time is the Charm was one of my favorite assignments because I wrote about my dad, and finding a relationship with him at the end of his life.
My writing evolved throughout the Writing course because, for one thing, I became more comfortable with my writing “voice.” (Still not sure I found it). Also, I became more comfortable sharing more intimate things about my life, that normally would have been too difficult for me to do. I have to struggle through all the “shame” that surrounds these difficult times of my life, and the Writing 101 course helped me find the courage to do so.
The most important thing that I focused on during this course was, finding my voice. I still keep thinking that when I find my voice, I will find me.
“CUT! That’s a wrap!”
The bright lights dimmed and once my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I felt this huge relief. I stepped away from the stool and realized, I had just gone through a lifetime of growing up.