The Dress (Non-Fiction)

I am going to be writing at least one short story per week. They will either be fiction or non-fiction. I am trying to improve my writing skills, so if you have any suggestions for improvements, please let me know.

*******


My sister was popular in Junior High and High School, I was not. I was a bit of a wall-flower with no self-esteem or self-confidence. In addition, she also had many cute clothes, and I did not. At least, not until she had grown out of them.


During my seventh grade school year we moved to a new area and I had to change schools. My new academy of boredom became a good thing for me. In my new school, I fit in with the students and quickly made friends.


In my seventh grade year, my sister became the owner of the cutest dress I had ever laid my eyes on. My eyes turned malignant green with envy every time she wore it.


In my mind, I knew if I were the owner of this dress, I would instantly become popular. I wanted to know what it felt like to step out of my sister’s shadow.


The dress was a shift-type dress made of pink checkered gingham from the top to the bottom. The adorableness of this dress was the skirt portion which consisted of ruffled tiers. The tiers were made of three different checkered gingham ruffles. The first ruffle was light purple, the second ruffle was light green, and the third and last ruffle was light yellow. Each ruffle was about 6″ long and would overlap the ruffle that was beneath it.


I couldn’t wait for my sister to out-grow it so it would become mine, except that my sister and I were close to the same size. It was my fear that when she outgrew it, I would too.


My mother, knowing how badly I wanted this dress, decided to make me one exactly like it. I was so happy! I was finally going to have the dress of my dreams.


When I wore my new dress to school, my classmates told me how much they loved my dress and how they wanted one of their own.


For once, I felt special.


Each day that I wore my new dress I felt popular. Even more important, I felt pretty. For once, I had a little bit of light of my own.

 

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22 thoughts on “The Dress (Non-Fiction)

  1. Very nice. My first critique is from something I find myself doing often: in the third paragraph, you do a lot of re-stating. Try not to use three sentences to say the same idea when one will do. I might also replace the “when my heart fell” with “AS my heart fell,” since it happens to coincide with your eyes turning green with envy.
    The description of the ruffles is a bit difficult to imagine. The word “tiered” could be useful. Also, stay consistent- top ruffle should be followed by middle, then lower. Or use first, second and third.
    I hope you continue your daily writing. You’re reminding me of the importance of it. Thank you and best wishes!

    • Thank you for reading and commenting. At this time, my mother was raising 4 kids alone and we had very little money. I rarely got new clothes, only my sister’s hand-me-downs. Are you going to join the other members of our class for the new blog that is being started? If you don’t know about it, go to The Commons and read the note.

  2. I just hopped over here to see what you were up to. I commend you on having a goal to write a short story once a week. You know what they say practice, practice, practice.

    There is something about the ending that feels, what? Rushed? Unfinished. To me it just didn’t flow with the rest of the story!

    Good work! I look forward to more!

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