Today, the Daily Post has given us the magical engineering skills to build any widget or gadget that our little brains can think up. (Rubbing my hands together as my brain is clicking, creaking, and squeaking).
I have just invented the ONE AND ONLY POINT AND SHOOT ZAPPER GUN!
You are wondering, I am sure, just what the purpose is of this Zapper Gun. Just wait… it is going to blow you away (and I mean that literally if you are a murderer, predator, pedophile, or terrorist).
This amazing gun will turn the most feared murderer, terrorist, pedophile, predator, bad boy, or meany into a bumbling idiot. Every single bad thought, gene, or tendency in them will be blown away. Zap them just one time with this gun and they will feel the “horrific grip of hell” and be so afraid they will turn into a scared little crying minion with absolutely no more “bad” tendencies. If this zapper gun shoots a law abiding citizen, they will not be able to feel it and absolutely nothing will happen. But, if you shoot one of these low lifes of society, they will feel it. THEY WILL FEEL THE TERRIFYING GRIP OF HELL!
I only have the power to make one of these guns, therefore, I cannot keep it. It is simply too phenomenal to keep to myself. I have given it to the American FBI.
The great news is…NO MORE MURDERERS, NO MORE PREDATORS, NO MORE PEDOPHILES, AND NO MORE PAIN CAUSED BY THESE RUTHLESS LOWLIFES OF SOCIETY. And, get this….they WILL NOT BE STUCK IN OUR AMERICAN PRISON SYSTEMS! What does that mean for you? YOUR TAXES WILL GO DOWN! Isn't that wonderful??
Yes, my friend, you will have more money every month to live on. You will be able to go on those much-needed vacations and cruises you have wanted to go on for so long.
You will have more money to pay bills and buy groceries. You can even go buy a brand new car!
There is only one thing…. This isn't good news if you are one of these lowlifes of society.