Victim Victim Fool Fool!

In non-functional families (I am trying to avoid using the term, “dysfunctional”), there is always at least one person that is in the victim role. Unfortunately, in my family, that would be me.

I grew up being the victim sometimes gracefully but most of the time, not so gracefully.

My personality is such that I automatically trust trusted people. I was stinkin' nice. Always believing in the “golden rule.” Treat people nice and they will treat you nice.

I spent my childhood being chased down the street by my sister with a butcher knife in her hand because I “borrowed” some of her clothes without asking. We fought constantly and often used our fists. She was selfish and self-centered, and I was always in the “survival” mode around her. For some reason, my mother thought this was okay.

I learned to avoid her as much as I possibly could. I learned that my mother would always take up for my sister – to her, she was perfect and I was the “problem” child. I stayed at my grandmother's as much as I possibly could.

With my sister's abuse and the emotional abuse from our father, our home was my nightmare.

In today's world, people think of victims as fools. We are fools because we are considered mindless and weak. (Maybe that is my problem, I am mindless and weak).

When I married I looked forward to being away from the place I was constantly being victimized. Finally! I would be loved, wanted, and needed, and would never again be a victim. What I found, however, is, I did not know any other way to be, but as a victim. When I divorced him, he victimized me even more.

As victims, our self esteem is destroyed and we learn to go inward with all of our emotions; our anger, our fears, and all of our emotional pain.

Because if we don't, again, we are considered weak and are victimized mor

That word, “victim” not only defined me, it chased me, it terrorized me, it abused me, and it threw me into the darkness of severe depression and mental illness. I fought it, I screamed, I kicked, I just wanted to die, but most of all I wanted to survive WITHOUT being a victim! But how? How does one stop being in the role of victim?

Love…maybe that is the answer! I will find someone who really does love me and will treat me with love and respect. I will find a man that will “adore” me and who I will adore. There is a problem with that. Soon you become the victim of gossip and wagging tongues. You are called a “whore”, a “bad” girl, a “hussy”, someone no right-minded good man would want.

For awhile alcohol seemed to do the trick. Alcohol “seemed” to keep me from being the victim. I didn't have to feel all the emotional pain of being victimized. There is a problem with that too. Soon, you become the victim of the alcohol.

I have learned, there is no shortage of victimizers. And, there are no shortage of victims. I have learned that victims are always human. Although many victimizers are humans, some victimizers are not always in “human” form. We can become victims of love, alcohol, drugs, money, greed, work, and you fill in the blank.

What there is a shortage of in this crazy and mixed up world is… kindness, love, and understanding. Until this world is filled with more people with these qualities, there will always be plenty of victims and victimizers.

This is our final day for the Zero to Hero Challenge. I have learned a lot from this challenge and am looking forward to future challenges to further my blogging skills. Thank you to all my readers and friends that have stuck with me through this challenge. I wish you all much success in all your future endeavors, as well as, in your blogging future.

 

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19 thoughts on “Victim Victim Fool Fool!

  1. I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that. It truly breaks my heart to know that others (especially someone I consider a good friend) suffer. I have dealt with my own abuse during my lifetime, and sometimes I still do. I think you know part of what is going on right now, and one day I may blog more about my past with abuse…I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. However if you would like a “WordPress support group” (you already know that people with like problems tend to follow each other) then I would like to suggest a blog to you. It is http://behindthemaskofabuse.com. It centers more on emotional abuse than physical, but sometimes a guest post will refer to other types of abuse. The writer behind it is a very strong woman who was tortured throughout her childhood by a narcissistic father and sister. She has since removed herself from her family. If you ever want to talk more about what you went through, I am always here for you and by email I would be willing to talk more about my past. The writer of this blog is also a great person who will communicate via email and offers support and inspiration.

  2. It takes guts to write from personal experiences such as abuse. I too have been on the victim side of the fence. I’ve blogged a bit about it & how I became depressed. How I became an emotional eater and gained a lot of weight. I have also been writing about my journey to lose it.

    • I can understand the weight issue. I gained weight so I wouldn’t be attractive anymore (not that I was attractive, but I didn’t want men to even want to look at me). I finally did lose that weight. Now being older, I don’t have to worry about it anymore. LOL!

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